I’ve been thinking you know. It will have been a year come Sunday. And I wonder if you ever think sometimes. I know I do, often or not. I am rather sick of a lot of things. Sometimes. And it seems so odd that loneliness creates some sort if mental blockage. And I bought a puppy to hopefully stop thoughts. They don’t leave though; what the realisation is whether I’m okay with it on the day or not. You seem to be in my head more than not in the last couple of weeks. I suppose it’s the lack of talking. Or maybe it’s the re-acquaintance of a certain drink. It’s odd don’t you think how some things can just bring memories back. I suppose seeing you happy actually seems to make things better of should do and a year is a year. Move on, move out. Get on, live on. Do whatever. Cope, live, breathe. Stop flirting with the idea of death. Stop flirting with danger and hurt.
Shite mood and trying so hard not to relapse. But the pictures won’t leave my head and I’ve put the bottle down, but all I want is more. To lie in a puddle of my own sick whilst I try and remember what happened. What happened? At what point in my life did everything become so slow? I think a distraction is needed to keep my mind off vertical lines. I think I need to get back to work and the never ending distractions.
im laughing so hard this is genius
A boyfriend means so much thank anyone - friends or ;”family. Pain and hurt as you think about the past.
I drink to feel and live to drink. There’s something somewhat wonderful about feeling drunk and gone. An out of body experience and flirting with the idea of death.
Things to be found in John Green books.
I always loved how in his books you could go from something really profound to something like “hump the moist cave wall” so I made a side-by-side of some of my favourites.
that’s because he wrote teenaged characters and he did it well. Sometimes we like to think we’re invincible and say fancy shit and sometimes it’s “hump the moist cave wall”